Here's My Beef with Uber Eats*...
(And other Clickers)
(Clickers, loosely defined; product/service which provides "Immediacy" and feeds into our instant gratification)
One step ahead with making life efficient.
One step ahead with making life more convenient.
One step ahead with more time to enjoy 'the things we love'.
But, has it really?
You see, I have a really firm belief.
I believe the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships.
Are these Clickers addin to that? Or moving us away from it?
Is there a greater joy than to connect with our favourite humans?
Feeling the ambience of a room and being delighted by their presence.
Looking into their eyes and feeling their pain.
Seeing their smile and celebrating victories with them.
Hearing a tremor in their voice and asking if they are ok.
Eating a meal prepared together; having shared why my mum thinks this brand of fish sauce is better.
Smelling diffused essential oils, and learning how the smell of Lavender reminds them of their childhood.
The very thing that advances us one step forward, actually brings us two steps backwards.
Call me a pessimist, but I see our already running thin patience get a nose dive.
We've already gone to internet banking because lining up at the teller takes too long.
At this stage, you've worked out I don't have an aversion to technology.
Nor services that improve our lives.
I am merely observing what Clicker not Uber Eats per se... but goods/services that serve Instant Gratification
"I Want It Now - So I Am Getting It Now")
So, it's not that I don't like technology.
We're evolving. It has to happen. It is important.
It's just that, our relationships with others are MORE IMPORTANT.
Want a meal?
Uber Eats. (Now)
Not enough dosh for that pressie?
After Pay. (Now)
Need to know what sound a kookaburra makes?
Google Home. (Now)
Want to get cash out cos someone else needs money and lost their card and you can send them an SMS to give them money?
Cardless Cash (Now).
When we operate with such conveniences, and our neural pathways like this instantaneous response, what happens when "real life" stuff starts to unfold?
Like the death of a parent?
Like the loss of a job?
Like the conflict that occurs in relationships?
How are we equipped to deal with these things?
We don't have the training ground to relate to others
(no need to speak to ticket administrator, we must pre purchase our travel tickets)
It's bad enough millials were brought up on messenger.
But watch them deal with a relationship breakdown.
They go into mayhem.
Their brains are in flight mode because they do not know how to deal with it.
You cannot microwave a marriage.
Clickers have removed a fundamental piece of the relationship pie: Patience.
And I've sat back and seen first hand anecotdally what Clickers have done to our Millenium generation.
And it's more and more prevelant.
You can't microwave a marriage.
You can't instantly be patient.
Clickers and other 21st century conveniences will weaken our patience and ability to remain present in marriage if we don't take stock of it.
What's a solution?
1. Be aware and conscious of how Instant Gratification products/services diminish our patience.
2. Find ways to practice patience. (i.e. This is the hard part - because this is the 'going out of your way' part. This is the where the reward lies! )
e.g. Instead of calling Uber Eats, go for a walk together. Hold hands while go to get dinner. If walking distance is not feasible, jump in the car together. Use the time to connect.
e.g. Go on a weekend drive an hour out of your city with NO IPADS. Kids will ask the question "are we there yet? are we there yet?" - which will drive you bonkers - but this is 'part of the patience training'. Get creative to bond as a family, play eye spy, drop into a local farm who is selling honey - go up and say hello to them and buy some local produce.
e.g. Walk into a teller at the bank instead of depositing cash at the ATM. Join a longer que in a supermarket. Instead of being annoyed with your parents' technological ineptitude - use this as time to connect with them, and be patient. Show them step by step how to send a message in messenger, instead of doing it for them.
Whether your investing time, money or energy into making your marriage better, remember LOVE IS ALWAYS WORTH IT.