I shared with my husband my greatest fear...

We’ve been going through the motions in our household. 
(Motions = Fair bit going on = Somewhat stressed.) 

Rob and I can both be short and irritable. 
(What’s really going on underneath: usually disconnection.) 

Yet, we will always find a way back to each other.
(Action: I just let him be and not make it about me. (Check out this <this post> I wrote about it.)

So, finally, the other day, we’re having pillow talk. 
(Rare, as lately I’ve been falling asleep with the kids.)

We get into this really deep chat. 

Crescendo builds as I prepare to pour my guts out.

I pause; my eyes well up; I feel a frog in my throat.

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“I'm scared we would stop making time for each other.”

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Rob takes a deep breath.

He replies:

“It’s hard, you know. The kids, the customers, the house, this and that, you know, it’s hard. Things are pulling at me in every direction. There’s always something." 

Tears rolled down my face as I blinked. 

“That’s precisely the point.” 

Rob takes another deep breath.

It sinks in.  

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And this is what this entire blog is about. 
This is what Spine Tingling Marriage is about. Just taking the moments to stop. To re-anchor. To think, "Is what I'm doing absolutely crucial to my life and making me happy?"

When we go 6 foot under --- our grave --- we take nothing with us. Nothing. No Louis handbags, no ING Saver Direct passwords, no heavy PhD thesis. Nothing. 

Nada. Niente. Zero. 

Except for memories and a legacy. 

And we will ask ourselves >> 
Did I love? Was I loved? Did I matter? Was I kind? Do I regret anything? Was I really happy?

And when I ask these questions, it makes me shift frame, shift mindset, and shift priority. Energy shifts. And so does the way I show up to my man. 

“ Relationships are the strongest single predictor of human joy and well-being.
— Dr Sue Johnson’s Love Sense (2013).

 

The reality is - I do know - that it’s overwhelming to put marriage first.

Especially when everyone and everything is demanding a piece of you. 

So, here’s the deal.

We're giving away an incredible resource to help you make marriage a priority. 

I was honoured to receive a (PDF) pre-release copy of this book below (to review it). I loved it so much I ordered my own hardcopy when it launched to the masses. 

And, here's the cool bit - the author Michelle Peterson has gifted two copies (which she will sign) to give away to our amazing community. How cool is that people!!??

Photocredit: #staymarried | Michelle and Tony Peterson

Photocredit: #staymarried | Michelle and Tony Peterson

I've been following Michelle and Tony and their #StayMarriedBlog since 2012. The podcast is outstanding; not only full of practical advice, they are hilarious. You should check it out here. 

The book is: 

- divided into 52 chapters (i.e. 52 devotions; 1 per week) 
- so digestible (short and consumable) 
- backed by science and offers lots of real life examples
- action orientated
- referenced to the Bible frequently >>> I thought I should mention this as I am NOT a religious person, and I found it totally non-preachy (if you know what I mean).  

Click here to WIN this incredible book!

You will be asked to answer 1 question: 

What does devotion look like to you?

 

Have a good think. We’re looking for heartfelt, funny, creative, all of the above. Give us what you got. The two best responses will win.

Entries close 14th June, 2017 - be sure to share to others, too! 

The More, The Merrier = More Happy Marriages = More Happy People = More Thriving Families = Active Communities = World Peace?

I am so grateful you are on this journey with all of us. 

Lots of love to you,
xx Nat

What are you waiting for? Click here Enter now 

 

Last Straw Argument - What It Did To My Marriage...

How did this whole blog/site/business/passion project start?

When I said, "this is not the way it's supposed to be".

Constant bickering, fighting and arguments over petty shit left me feeling so unloved and so misunderstood. This was when our first baby came along.  

Can you relate?

And then the last straw argument. I knew I couldn't go on. Something had to change.

Something did change (I discovered something so powerful about relating to my husband). And I turned things around. 

I had the honour of being interviewed for the Happy Mama with Amy Taylor-Kabbaz Podcast; a woman I've girl-crushed on because her work has soul-saved me!!

In this podcast interview, I wear my heart on my sleeve and it gets raw.

You'll hear about:

- The book that changed my life (The Five Love Languages).

- How important it is to know each other's love language. 

- How to de-code what your spouse is doing so that you feel loved. 

Grab a cuppa, put your headphones on for an up close and personal feel, and get to know a little more about me and my mission about helping married mothers fall back in love with their husbands. This podcast goes for about 25mins.

Press play below {please be patient for it to load : } 


Photo via  Visualhunt.com

Photo via Visualhunt.com

 

Please share/comment on what parts you resonated with?

Would love to hear your story, too. 

 

Show notes: 

1. The 5 Love Languages  Online test

2. The Gottman Institute

3. Sarah Napthali, Buddhism For Mothers

4. Personal edit: It was incorrect of me to say "I stumbled across" the book The Five Love Languages. It's more accurate to note my mentor Katherine Beaumont advised me about many years prior, so I bought it. It sat on my bookshelf for years before I had to read it. Classic case of "the teacher arrives when the student is ready". 

5. Find out more about the interviewer, Amy Taylor-Kabbaz, and her amazing soul work at Happy Mama

 

The one phrase that changes the course of marriage.

I was invited by Team Women Australia to share my mission at an event for International Women’s Day in Sydney on March 8th. What an honour to be involved.  A line up of incredible speakers, such as:

Claire Ashman, a TedEx speaker who survived a cult; Lizzy Williamson, who beat depression with movement, and consequently started 2 Minute Moves; Kylee Fitzpatrick, founder of TWA and passionate about equality and personal fulfilment.

A really big deal for me on the speaking front - so I made sure I practised and practised my 2 minute speech; with my gorgeous girlfriend AND also with my Uber driver who was driving me to the event! (English a second language, he said he only understood 30% of it. Bless him! I think he got the sentiment - that’s the main thing!)

The theme: #BeBoldForChange. 

How Do We Make Change In This World?

Here’s my version of how we can make change:

“Start with the end in mind”. 
Poignant words from the great Stephen Covey.

I interpret this as: 
Lying on your death bed. 
What will you be hugging just before you close your eyes for the very last time?

Your shiny toys?
Your bank statements?
Your framed MBA certificates?

I know I will be hugging my life companion. 
I will have no regret of knowing how much I loved, and how much I was loved.

I believe the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships.

I also believe the most important relationship to focus our energy onto is the one with our husband.

Ever notice when we fight with our spouse the world seems a little bleaker? Our shoulders don’t stand so tall? There is less spring in our step?

And ever notice the opposite, too?

When everything is RIGHT IN OUR MARRIAGE - WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE.

Our parenting is better, our business/careers thrive, and the trickle effects of a great marriage pour over to other important relationships. e.g. parents, siblings, friends, in laws, colleagues.

When we love and when we’re loved, we’re generally happier people.

Happy people make better decisions and accomplish more.

When we find happiness in our lives, we strive to making this world a better place.

Full of people loving. Helping one another.

And that’s the world I envisage for my children.

When the merry-go-round of madness goes full swing (i.e. life), we can easily lose scope of what is truly important.

Love is the most valuable asset. 
To give it. To receive it. 
And it all starts from home.

That’s why it’s my mission to help married mothers fall back in love with their husbands.

I invite YOU to #BeTheBoldChange in your home.

This is one phrase you can say TONIGHT; a small and significant step to making change in your marriage. 

Say this to your husband: 
“Thank you for being my hero. I appreciate what you do for our family.”

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Team Women Australia is a story telling movement, which was founded on the principles to give women a voice, to be heard & appreciated enabling them with the courage to stand up for themselves & each other. To find out more of the amazing community visit Team Women Australia.

#TEAMWOMENAUSTRALIA
#InternationalWomensDay
#StephenCovey
#HeroHusbands
#LoveIsAllThatMatters

5 Ways To Spice Up Your Relationship...

Just before Valentine's Day 2017, an article I wrote was published in Get It Magazine. 

Here is screen shot of the article, I hope you are able to find that it is practical not only in the month of February, but all year round. 

Here's to maintaining spice and love with your lover. 

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